A Day of Judgment and Justice

The Day of Judgment exists because justice is not always meted out in this world, and even when it is, it is carried out by human standards and it is rarely ever resolved in a manner that gives each person their absolute due.

On the Day of Judgment, no human being can plead with the judge or jury for sympathy or justify their actions or silence their opponents; on the Day of Judgment, there will only be Divine Justice against which none can utter a word of opposition.

Human transgressions against the rights of others are so easy to commit, so easy to justify, so easy to defend. If we do not hold ourselves accountable for them right now, know that there will be a Day when we will be held accountable by the Most Just. Even the animals on that Day will have their rights in this world avenged - how much more so, then, will the rights of other people be upheld and exacted?

" “Allaah will judge between His creation, jinn, men and animals. On that Day, Allaah will let the hornless animal settle its score with the horned until, when there is nothing left to be settled, Allaah will say to them, ‘Be dust.’" (Silsilat asSaheeha)

It was narrated from Abu Dharr that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sitting, and two sheep locked horns until one of them defeated and subdued the other. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) smiled and someone asked him, “Why are you smiling, O Messenger of Allaah?” He said, “It is amazing. By the One in Whose hand is my soul, their score will be settled on the Day of Resurrection.”

“O Abu Dharr, do you know what they are fighting over?” He said, “No.” He said, “But Allaah knows and He will judge between them.”

...And the male is not like the female.

The ayah "And the male is not like the female" is so often used to tell women to shut up - to tell them not to question injustices committed against them, to remain silent when their Shar'i rights are stripped from them, to accept ill treatment & flimsy excuses instead of legitimate explanations for 'scholarly' sayings & rulings issued that only harm women.
In truth, the Divine words '& the male is not like the female' is meant to emphasize that the differences between male & female shouldn't be viewed as some kind of validation for the marginalization of women, but to celebrate the fact that men & women alike were created uniquely.

These differences are to be appreciated, not mocked; these differences are meant to be used in tandem with each other so that the genders can complement each other & support each other to build a beautiful, holistic environment wherein *everyone* benefits - not just one group.

Wa laysath-thaka ka'l untha: Female input is required in all spheres of life because we have insights that men may never be able to come up, yet for women, they are clear and obvious, a part of our everyday lives. There is wisdom & benefit in our differences.
Allah mentions our differences to remind us that we need each other - not that we must work against each other. We are meant to appreciate each other and grow in love for each other.

It is heartbreaking to see the ayah used so often to shut women up - whether about poly, inheritance, Jannah, or anything else, we aren't given thoughtful answers & explanations, but expected to fall silent & accept attitudes & authority that are clearly incorrect.

Though the words were said by Maryam's mother in anguish & worry over not being able to fulfill her oath, Allah gave those words a greater meaning: that Maryam, a female, was not like a male - if Himnah had had a son instead of a daughter, then history would have been very, very different.

Yet those words, which should remind us of the greatness of women & our role in our Deen, are used instead to humiliate us & marginalize us on an almost daily basis.

The 'fitnah' that men face is claimed to be greater than any oppression, injustice, or temptation that women face - bc 'we aren't the same.' Why not pause for a moment and think about how indeed, we aren't the same - in so many ways, the fitnah women face is so much greater.
Sex? Money? Power? Women suffer in so many ways because of them, yet we are consistently told that our desires don't matter; our access to finances is unnecessary, & we have no authority outside the domestic sphere; to seek any of the above is to 'try & be like men.'
The idea that we are merely trying to be seen as full-fledged humans with all the needs & necessities associated, appears alien to so many of our men - even the 'good' ones, the ones who don't intend us harm, the ones who don't intend injustice, yet who have heard 'the male is not like the female' for so long and in all the wrong ways, that they refuse to believe women when we beseech them to understand how indeed, the way we are not like them is because we are hurt so much more than them.

It grieves me, and it infuriates me, that to be a Muslim woman today who seeks to live in accordance to her Lord's words, according to a standard of justice and excellence, is to be accused of corrupting the Divine faith itself. God forbid that we point out how others have done a far more potent job at corrupting the Deen, with disastrous consequences for half the Ummah.

But no...the male is not like the female & so, the female must suffer for the corrupted power that the male wields not only over her, but over all of society.

Toxic: A JourneyThrough Emotional Abuse (Part 2)

Last month in part 1, we heard from brothers and sisters who had suffered emotional abuse at the hands of their spouse. This type of abuse is a troubling but all-too-common phenomenon - both amongst Muslims and in the world at large. As Muslims, however, we must hold ourselves to a higher standard of what we consider acceptable behaviour - a standard determined not by culture or arbitrary opinions, but by the Qur’an and Sunnah.

In order to better fight off this poisonous cancer in our Ummah, we must educate ourselves about both its signs and the effects it has on those it afflicts.

Are Abusers Evil?

One of the most difficult concepts to grasp is that abusers are not necessarily evil people. Often, they are completely unaware that their behaviour is manipulative, abusive and harmful, and are shocked to know that their victims feel abused - if they are ever able to acknowledge it at all. Their behaviour stems from their own issues: insecurities, troubled childhoods, mental illness or having witnessed abuse in their own families while growing up. Worse still is when they use the deen as a way to justify their attitude and their behaviour, even when provided with clear evidence that their ‘religious’ excuses are baseless.

The term ‘emotional abuse’ carries with it vivid connotations of screaming, name calling and intimidation. It can be hard to reconcile this image with someone whose actions are not loud and angry, but cold and even calm. It is even more difficult to recognise or acknowledge an emotional abuser when that person displays good characteristics or actions that appear to conflict with the stereotypical profile of an ‘abuser.’
We are often taught, if not explicitly, then implicitly, that abusers are evil people, but we sometimes lose sight of an abuser’s humanity - because they are human, just like us.

At the same time, however, recognising that they are flawed individuals who have allowed themselves to hurt others does not mean giving them a get-out-of-jail-free card. It does not mean making excuses for their behaviour, or allowing them to escape the consequences of their actions.

There are also different levels and types of emotional abuse, from the subtle (which is most difficult to detect and recognise as being emotional abuse in the first place) to the obvious extreme (where the behaviour is blatant and no attempt is made to deny or hide it). Some individuals, whether unconsciously or deliberately, are masters at emotional manipulation and emotional blackmail; they have the ability to appeal to their victims’ affection for them as a means of controlling them. Many victims of emotional abuse don’t hate their abusers, but love them or at least care for them deeply. It is precisely this love, and their desire to save their relationship, that keeps many men and women trapped in abusive marriages despite the fact that they know deep down that it is an unhealthy situation that is affecting them (and their children) negatively.

Leaving Abusive Marriages - The Challenges

Many people question why those in emotionally abusive relationships don’t leave sooner. The truth is that it is often very difficult for them to leave, for a variety of reasons.
For women, the obstacles are overwhelming: cultural stigma, misconceptions about whether Islam allows men to wield such ‘authority’ over their wives, family pressure, financial constraints, fear regarding their children, access to resources and an Islamic leader who will support them - these are just some factors that play into how difficult it is for many Muslim women to leave an abusive relationship.

However, men too face extremely difficult challenges of their own. Contrary to what many believe, male victims of abuse experience many of the same issues that female victims do - a destroyed sense of self-esteem, a sense of self-loathing or even blaming themselves for whatever issues their abusers may have. For some, it is that they don’t even know that a man can be abused by a woman. For others, a deep sense of shame about being perceived as weak or unmanly prevents them from confiding in others. It is difficult to find someone to turn to for support as there is a real problem of being mocked and humiliated rather than being provided with assistance.

Sadly, there are also cases where it is fear that keeps them in the marriage - there are women who threaten to take their children away, or even to report their husbands to the legal authorities for being ‘terrorists’ or ‘extremists.’

One particular point to be cautious of as well is that when discussing emotional abuse, it is all too common for people to start arguing about ‘who gets abused more.’ It should go without saying - yet, alas, must be said - that in the Sight of Allah, injustice and oppression have no gender. The harsh reality is that abuse does take place at the hands of men and women, towards other men and women. Our role as an Ummah is not to play the blame game, but to be aware of the facts and to act in accordance with Islamic principles of upholding justice and supporting the oppressed.

Taking Action

Anas reported: “The Messenger of Allah said: 'Help your brother, whether he is an oppressor or is oppressed.' A man asked: 'O Messenger of Allah! I (know how to) help him when he is oppressed, but how can I help him when he is an oppressor?' He said: 'You can restrain him from committing oppression. That will be your help to him.'” “(Al-Bukhari & Muslim)

Many Muslims are hesitant to discuss or take action against issues such as emotional abuse because they don’t want to ‘cause problems’ or get involved in things that ‘aren’t my business.’ There is the idea that stepping forward to help a Muslim sister who is being abused (in any way) by her husband is a betrayal to the Muslim man, or that his honour will be tarnished, or that it is better for a Muslimah to suffer in silence than to ‘expose’ a Muslim man.

What we forget is that preventing a fellow Muslim from causing harm - any type of harm at all - to others is, in and of itself, a praiseworthy deed. Rather than allowing injustice and oppression to flourish within our Ummah, it is the duty of every Muslim to stand up for what is right, even if what is right contradicts deep-rooted cultural ideas and beliefs.

One way that Muslim communities can work to take action against emotional abuse (and other types of domestic violence) is to actively provide support for victims and to stigmatise the abuse itself.

Community leaders, imams, speakers and indeed the average person can all cooperate in fostering an environment where support for abuse is called out. Those of knowledge and in a position of authority can and should use the minbar to emphasise the Islamic impermissibility of such abuse. Leaders should make it clear that anyone who comes to them with stories of abuse will not be turned away, rejected or made to feel unsafe (or forced to go back to their abusers). Community members can start within their own homes by educating themselves, children and other family members about what abuse entails and how it is Islamically unacceptable. Should someone share a story of abuse, they should be directed to the appropriate resources and supported in their search for a solution.

In essence, the masjid and the Muslim community should be a place where abuse of all types is stigmatised and a safe space for those who are going through it.

We cannot allow our misguided cultural mentalities to influence us into keeping silent about the emotional abuse, or physical abuse, or sexual abuse - or any other injustice - that takes place within our families, our communities, our Ummah. Taking a stand against these issues does not mean turning against your brothers or sisters in Islam, but in fact is a means of assisting them in leaving behind behaviour that is displeasing to Allah.

{You are the best of peoples ever raised for mankind; you enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and you believe in Allah.} (Al-A'raf:157)

Deficient in Intellect, or Interpretation?

"Women are deficient in intellect." These words, quoted from a famous hadith, have been gleefully used by many Muslim men to demean and belittle women, implying that they are, by nature, inferior.
It is sad that the majority of English translations and explanations (especially the latter) regarding this hadith have an overtly negative attitude, even aggressive in some cases.

Yet when one reads the original Arabic text, and searches for other classical explanations – such as that of Qadhi `Iyadh – a different picture is painted, one which reflects not negativity, but positivity.
The key phrase that we will look at here is the following:

"Ma ra'aytu min Naqisati `Aqlin wa deen aghlabu li dhee lubbin minkun"

 "In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence." (Sunnah.com)

 "I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you."(Sunnah.com)

 "I have not seen anyone more deficient in intellect or deen. Yet the mind of even a resolute man might be swept away by one of you."(Sunnipath.com)

 "I have never seen among those who have a deficiency in their intellect and their religion anyone more capable than women of swaying the intellect of the most determined of men."(Answering-Christianity.com)

The differences in these translations – and the connotations that come along with the words used – is quite clear. The first two are quite harsh, and a jumping board for those explanations which go into detail about how women are weak, lacking, and inferior in intelligence.

The second two are slightly more ambivalent, less condemning, as it were. Even so, in English – and, I would suspect, most languages – there is very little explanation of this phrase (and indeed, the entire hadith itself) that doesn’t come off as an excuse or justification for the horrific misogyny that has permeated our Ummah.

What is a better explanation for this hadith, then?

In Ikmaal al-Mu’lim bi Fawaa’id Muslim (a commentary on Saheeh Muslim) by Qadhi ‘Iyadh, he discusses this hadith carefully.

To begin with, a small but significant detail in the hadith has been glossed over by many.
When the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) approached the believing women to impress upon them the importance of giving sadaqah and saying istighfaar (praying for forgiveness), one of those women spoke up.

Qadhi `Iyadh takes the time to speak about this woman – in the Arabic text, she is described as "imra’atun jazlatun."

What does "jazlah" mean? Another analysis of the hadith[1] defines "jazlah" as: "thaat al-‘aql, ra’iyy, waqaar" ; meaning, someone with intelligence, with an opinion based upon reason and rationale, and respect.

This "imra’atun jazlah" was not merely content to hear this statement, but wanted to understand the reasoning behind it – and as Qadhi ‘Iyadh states, her intelligence was demonstrated in that she did not challenge the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) in a disrespectful manner, but spoke up in a firm yet appropriate way. Nor was her question criticizing the statement of the Prophet, but instead, she sought to further her own understanding of his statement.

In fact, her behaviour was the very embodiment of the verse:

{It is not for a believing man or a believing woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decided a matter, that they should [thereafter] have any choice about their affair.} (Al-Ahzab 33:36)

 Another interesting point that Qadhi ‘Iyadh makes is how the word ‘aql is defined and understood, especially in the context of this hadith. Only one definition is the widely translated and assumed one of "intellect," whereas he also mentions it as certain, specific types of knowledge, and excelling in having deep insight and being able to distinguish the true reality and nature of things.

The writer Azeez Muhammad Abu Khalaf further discusses the concept of "naaqis `aql" and how it is taken out of context in this hadith to imply something that has no evidence whatsoever either in the Qur’an or Sunnah – that is, the claim that women are intellectually inferior.

In the Qur’an, the word `aql is generally related not to intellect in and of itself, but rather, as a tool to push people into reaching a realization regarding Allah, the purpose of life, etc. so that they are motivated into working for their Hereafter. In the context of this hadith, the phrase is used in a similar manner – emphasizing the severity of the matter as a motivational tool, encouraging the women to give in Sadaqah and increase in their Istighfaar.

Furthermore, when the Prophet clarified the "nuqsaan" and their causes, they are issues that are purely Shar’i rules: the issues of testimony, prayer, and fasting.
The matter of testimony falls under `aql as it is not a ritual act of worship, whereas salah and fasting are acts of worship and therefore deeni.

Even those who try to argue that women are inferior because their testimony equals only half that of a man’s, are ignoring the fact that the Qur’anic ayah says simply {so that one can remind the other.} (Al-Baqarah 2:282) There is no mention whatsoever of inferiority in any other way, especially with regards to intelligence, either in the Qur’an or the Sunnah.

 With regards to the details of a woman’s testimony, it must be known that it is not a blanket ruling applicable to any and all situations. It must also be understood that there are cases wherein a man’s testimony is rejected completely; for example, in matters such as childbirth, breastfeeding, and so on. In other cases, a woman’s testimony can be considered equal to that of a man’s. However, the details of these situations is beyond the scope of this article, and a discussion of fiqh in and of itself.

 Abu Khalaf goes on to point out that those who try to use the hadith to demean women are actually missing out a significant aspect of the hadith itself – how could the woman mentioned be described as "jazlah" if  the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was actually telling women that they are NOT intelligent?


 As for the second half of the hadith (aghlabu li dhee lubbin minkun), which has been translated in varying degrees of similar negative connotations, it is an example which highlights the power of words.


The word ‘ghalaba’ in Arabic means ‘to defeat, to prevail, overpower, to overcome, to subdue’ – basically, to have power over someone. It is a word with connotations of power and influence, of superiority, as it were.

Translations such as "robbing the wisdom of the wise," "swaying the intellect of the most resolute of men" etc. give a demeaning impression to imply that women are deceptive, cunning, and manipulative.

Yet – just as easily, and perhaps much more accurately – it can be translated as women being able to outwit and outsmart men... which, in turn, highlights that women are not, in fact, lacking in or inferior when it comes to the intellect. After all, how could someone stupid be able to outsmart "dhee lubbin" – a very intelligent man, a wise man, a resolute man?

Some explanations of this hadith, including that of Qadhi ‘Iyadh, mention that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) uttered this statement as a compliment – one of surprise, and positivity.
Another interesting point made is that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was addressing the women of the Ansar, who were known for being outspoken, intelligent, and on an equal footing with their men – in contrast to the people of Makkah, where the men were used to being domineering over their womenfolk. Thus, the Prophet was expressing how impressed he was by the fact that these women were so easily able to match wits with men, despite being physically weaker than them.

One very important thing to note about this hadith – and how it has been incorrectly translated and explained – is that this incident took place during the morning of ‘Eid, an occasion for joy and celebration. It is inconceivable that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) would say something deeply offensive or meant to hurt or be harmful to those whom he was speaking to (in this case, the believing women). It is known that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) spoke in the best of ways, in the most eloquent, and that when he spoke to the believers, it was always in a manner that would motivate them to grow closer to Allah, not more distant.

Unfortunately, this point is almost never considered in English explanations of the hadith, thus making it seem even more negative towards Muslim women.

Finally, if women were indeed inferior in intellect – then how on earth would any woman be accepted as a scholar of Islam in any capacity? If women are inferior in intellect, then how could they be entrusted with the most important type of knowledge – that of Islam itself – and possibly endanger the souls of Muslims throughout the world?


Obviously, this is not the case. From A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her), Hafsah, Zainab bint Abi Salamah and others, to shaykhaat today, women have been entrusted with the Sacred Knowledge of Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and his male Companions fully recognized, acknowledged, and valued the worth of women, their intellect, and their contributions to the Ummah.
Perhaps one of the greatest evidences regarding Muslim women and their intellectual influence is the quote of Imam adh-Dhahabi – that he had never come across a female hadith transmitter accused of forgery (muttaham) or abandoned due to a high degree of unreliability (matruk)[2]. As a formidable figure in the field of hadith, and specifically in al-Jarh wa Ta’deel, these words of Imam adh-Dhahabi are significant and meaningful.

In short, it is enough to know that this hadith does not, in fact, provide any evidence or even imply that women are intellectually inferior in any manner. Rather, what this hadith does is recognize and point out that {the male is not like the female.} (Aal-`Imran 3:36)

Whereas the women were first cautioned regarding their own behaviour, and reminded of their differences in specific aspects of the Deen (giving testimony, praying, and fasting) the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) also acknowledged that men, too, were not perfect.

He pointed out that even "dhee lubbin" (the most intelligent of men) are capable of having their wits matched by women. Whereas there are many men who feel insulted or offended at the idea of a woman outsmarting them or proving herself to be intellectually superior, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) mentioned it as a fact.

Allah has created men and women as partners, complementing each other in every way – whether intellectual, emotional, or spiritual. The Qur’an and Sunnah emphasize that men and women were created to asssist each other, and were both given duties and responsibilities to fulfill in obedience to Allah. Neither was created superior or inferior to the other, but rather, were designated as responsible "shepherds" – as the hadith of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) clearly states:

"Every one of you is a guardian, and responsible for what is in his custody. " (Al-Adab al-Mufrad)

In the case of the hadith "naqsaan ‘aql wa deen," there are many of those who try to argue that this hadith is evidence of women’s inherent "deficiency" and inferiority, and will go on to exaggerate the "weakness" of women.

However, as we have already stated, there is absolutely no evidence in the Qur’an and Sunnah to support these claims. As human beings, men and women are held equally accountable in the Sight of Allah, responsible for using their intellect to distinguish between good and evil, and to act accordingly.

A more appropriate translation of this hadith, then, could be the following:

"Despite your incompleteness in 'aql and deen, I have never seen anyone more able to triumph over a man of (great) intelligence"

 Thus, we can see the power of words, positive connotation, and the absolute necessity of having a holistic understanding of the words of Allah and His Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him).
In reading this hadith – and others which have either been mistranslated or explained in a biased manner – it is necessary for us to always have Husn adh-Dhann (thinking well) of Allah and His Messenger.

Allah is the Most Just, the Prophet was a mercy to mankind - we can never, ever forget that. Should we allow ourselves to think otherwise, to assume that the Qur'an and Sunnah contain injustice in any way, is a victory of Shaytan over us, who strives to make us despair or doubt the perfection of Islam.
It is also an important reminder to us of the power of words. Sadly, mistranslations and harsh (mis)explanations have been directly responsible for causing all kinds of spiritual trauma, especially in relation to Muslim women.

While we cannot directly accuse translators and writers of deliberately trying to cause harm, we do have to recognize the very real consequences and effects that those words and interpretations have upon the Ummah. Whether it is deliberate on the part of the translators and writers or merely irresponsible translating is not for us to judge, although it is imperative for us to recognize and to challenge the consequences of these translations and interpretations.

May Allah make us amongst those who seek the truth and find it, and are given not only knowledge, but wisdom and understanding of His words and His Deen, ameen.

---

[1] Azeez Muhammad Abu Khalaf, Wujuh al-I`jaz fi Hadith  Naqisat `Aql, http://www.saaid.net/female/m121.htm
[2] Mizan al-I`tidal, Fasl: fi al-Niswa al-Majhulat

Reinforcing Gender Injustice & Radical Change From Within

Domestic violence, sexual harassment and abuse, misogyny in all its forms – whether in the East or the West, Muslim or non-Muslim, all these diseases are alive and well in our societies.

“Women shouldn’t be dressing a certain way if they don’t want to be attacked”; “Sometimes a mouthy woman just needs to be disciplined in order to learn her lesson”; “Men are just like that, we can’t change who they are.”

These are all common variations of the basic argument of “well, this is life, just deal with it”… but that is simply not acceptable, no matter where in the world you live.

The sad truth is that amongst Muslims as well as non-Muslims, the various diseases that arise from ingrained misogyny in our various cultures is quite often perpetuated and encouraged by women themselves. Misogyny is something that is quickly and oft-identified within men, but recognized much less within women – after all, how is it that there are women who look down on themselves, who see themselves as less than their male counterparts?

Whatever the origins of internalized misogyny amongst women may be, the most dangerous consequence is that many women will pass on their unhealthy attitudes about gender roles, sexuality, and more onto both their daughters and their sons.

From infancy, we laugh off a young boy insistently pushing a little girl around as “boys will be boys,” yet are quick to scold if a little girl shows signs of aggressiveness. We rarely – if ever – teach our sons about hayaa’ (modesty), respect, lowering the gaze, and spiritual chastity the way we fanatically tell our daughters to cover up and be quiet. We allow our sons to raise their voices – and sometimes their hands – to us, yet discipline our daughters immediately if they ask a single question. We keep our daughters close to us at home yet allow our sons to run wild in the middle of the night, teaching them morality is something restricted to women (wa’l iyaadhu billah). We criticize our daughters for not covering their heads in their own homes amongst their mahaarim, and allow our sons to go out in public wearing tight fitting or inappropriate clothing, conveniently forgetting that RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) was ‘more modest than a virgin girl.’

We women – and the men in our lives – are the ones directly responsible for raising entire generations of boys and girls, men and women, who have a warped and twisted idea of what morality is, of what it means to be men and women.

In doing so, we have perverted and destroyed the very idea of hayaa’ (modesty) and ‘izzah (honour and dignity) in Islam. A woman’s honour doesn’t come from being held prisoner in her own home or conforming to bizarre cultural norms of femininity; a man’s respect doesn’t come from him oppressing the women around him and abusing his power in order to make himself feel good. The honour, respect, and dignity of each and every Muslim lies in their subservience to Allah, their fulfilment of His Commands, and their refusal to accept oppression and injustice in any aspect of their lives.

{ You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah.} (Qur’an 3:110)

In the hypsersexualized global village we live in today, we need to teach our sons and daughters from a very young age what it means to have respect for others of the same and of the opposite gender – regardless of what they are or are not wearing.

Teach our sons as well as our daughters that ‘awrah is about more than the actual physical private parts; it is about understanding that others’ bodies are not objects that we are entitled to, but that Allah is Ever-Watchful and that we need to respect ourselves first and foremost by not allowing our eyes, our tongues, and our limbs to see, speak, or touch that which is prohibited.

RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said: "Emaan (belief) consists of more than sixty branches. And Hayaa’ (modesty) is a part of faith." (Bukhari)

He also said: “Every religion has a (distinct) characteristic and the characteristic of Islam is modesty.” [Ibn Maajah]

It is imperative that we tie in every single value we teach our children to the most precious of all values: Taqwa. All that we do, all that we are, goes back to how much we love our Lord and wish to please Him.

Part of that endeavor to please Allah and protect ourselves – and our societies – is to strive for Ihsaan (excellence) in every way.

The Qur’an describes Muslim men and women in the following terms:

{The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.} (Qur’an 9:71)

The only way to raise an Ummah of believers who embody this verse, is to raise our children from a young age to believe in the standard of Ihsaan – excellence – and hold themselves to it, especially with regards to how they deal with the opposite gender.

{Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is purer for them. Indeed, Allah is Acquainted with what they do.

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts…} (Qur’an 24:30-31)

Sexual harassment is a very real problem amongst Muslims, one which – until now – has been allowed to continue due to the very unhealthy attitudes we have been raising our children with.

By returning to the Qur’an and Sunnah, by teaching our sons and daughters while they are still extremely young about the importance of Taqwa, Ihsaan, and Hayaa’, then and only then will we finally be able combat this disease (amongst others) in our Ummah.

We cannot insist that all our gender-related problems will go away if women just sit at home and cover up and remain silent and motionless. Rather, we must know that the condition of our Ummah will never change until we return to the Words of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and radically change our attitudes to match the values taught within them, instead of trying to twist the Divine Words to fit our own warped mentalities.

Change starts within our own homes, and starts today. Sit down with your sons and your daughters, no matter how old they are, and have a much-needed discussion with them about what it means to respect themselves and others of the opposite gender. Teach them, truly, what it means for the believers, men and women, to be allies of one another.