'I enjoin upon you good treatment of women, for they are prisoners with you, and you have no right to treat them otherwise, unless they commit clear indecency.
If they do that, then forsake them in their beds and strike them, but without causing injury or leaving a mark. If they obey you, then do not seek to harm them.You have rights over your women and your women have rights over you. Your rights over your women are that they are not to allow anyone whom you dislike to tread on your bedding (furniture), nor allow anyone whom you dislike to enter your houses.
And their right over you is that you show them excellence with regard to their clothing and food (i.e. providing her with the best of her basic needs).' - The Farewell Khutbah (Sunan Ibn Majah)
At first glance, these first few words of RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) can seem jarring. How does the description of women as "prisoners" in their marriages fall in line with the idea that marriage is a partnership, a relationship of compassion? And unfortunately, there are plenty of people who will take this phrase and wield it triumphantly as 'proof' that women are subservient to men and do not have the 'right' to dignity or justice.
This narration, however, is just one example of how easy it is for ahadith to be twisted, mistranslated, and explained in a manner that contributes to the ongoing mistreatment of women. Rather, it is extremely important for us to be able to understand the deeper meanings and contexts behind the words - for the words of Allah and His Messenger can never be used as an excuse to justify injustice and oppression.
While to our eyes the word 'prisoner' is one that denotes helplessness and a lack of rights, giving the 'warden' unlimited authority and freedom, the Islamic meaning is very different.
The metaphorical use of the word 'prisoner' is meant to highlight the reality of power imbalances and the vulnerability of women. Whether Muslim or nonMuslim, historically and in the present, even with legal measures put in place to protect people's rights - women are still most vulnerable to abuse in their intimate relationships. Though women have Shar'i rights given to them by Allah Himself, unfortunately they are not always educated about those rights, or given access to them. Whether due to culture or manipulation of religious texts, women have and continue to face great oppression in their relationships.
Thus, RasulAllah explicitly commanded men to treat women well, in this hadith as well as numerous others. The power imbalance is not meant to be one where men can take advantage of women and abuse them - rather, with that position of qiwamah comes an even more serious level of accountability. With great power comes great responsibility; as such, husband/ qawwaam/ ameer who abuses his authority will face an even more severe punishment.
As RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) stated, "Each one of you is a shepherd, and each one of you will be questioned regarding your flock. The commander who is in authority over the Muslims is responsible and he will be questioned regarding his responsibility. The man is responsible over the inhabitants of his house and he is the one who will be questioned about them." (Tirmidhi)
The greater one's level of authority, the greater one's level of accountability before Allah on the Day of Judgment. In marriage, which is meant to be a relationship of love, mercy, and compassion, a husband bears the responsibility of treating his wife with the utmost respect and the best of treatment.
Should a husband violate this, he himself is to be seen as a criminal of sorts - a man who abuses his power and transgresses the rights of someone who is vulnerable and whose rights over him he is meant to be especially aware of.
Indeed, the final sentence of this narration emphasizes that men must "tuhsinoo ilayhinn" - show women excellence of treatment, to provide for their needs in the best way possible, to not just be "kind" but to be diligent in maintaining the highest standard possible.
This hadith is not meant to put women down, to diminish their status, or to render them silenced objects who do not have rights of their own. Rather, it is the opposite - women, who are so often vulnerable in their relationships and their societies - are meant to be cared for, respected, protected, and given the best of treatment.
The only exception to this - and it is not so much a negation of a woman's right to excellent treatment as it is a matter of dealing with a particularly sensitive situation - is in the case of infidelity. (I'm not going to delve into the issue of wife beating here, as that's another topic in and of itself.)
More than anything else, the fact that RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) considered this issue to be a matter worth mentioning in his Farewell Khutbah, during his final Hajj, shows the seriousness of protecting women's rights. The words of Allah's Messengers enjoin upon us all the best of behaviour and the upholding of justice - never its opposite.
Anyone who dares to take these words and use them as a means of oppressing women is someone who has lied against RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and gone against his blessed Sunnah.
May our men be of those who uphold the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) by fighting for and protecting the rights of women, and demonstrating what it means to show Ihsaan, ameen.
#TrueQawwam