The term "homemakers" is used exclusively in relation to women as SAHM, but we completely overlook the fact that to "make a home" involves so much more than a woman staying home and taking care of domestic drudgery.
In the context of a two-parent, heterosexual marriage and family unit, the role of husbands and fathers cannot be overstated. #TrueQawwam doesn't just mean paying the bills - it means being present and active *at home* - making the house a home - and playing an integral role within the family unit beyond merely finances.
A man is - or should be - a homemaker. That means that he is involved with his children, that he is aware of their individual needs and stages of life, that he is concious of how necessary paternal presence and positive attention is in the development of both boys and girls. The effects of paternal neglect - even if the father technically is present - are devastating on children.
Unfortunately, so much of "fatherhood" in many of our communities is restricted to finances and discipline, but ignores the emotional contributions that fathers offer.
#TrueQawwam homemakers are those who actively choose to place their children as an emotional priority. That means that, regardless of the mother and what she is or isn't doing, a male homemaker is invested in his kids, spending time with them, and actively engaged with them. Fathers can be, and should be, nurturing.
Too many people equate the word "nurturing" with "being feminine," which couldn't be further from the truth.
RasulAllah (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam) provides the perfect model for a nurturing, homemaking #TrueQawwam.
He used to take his daughters with him to the Ka'bah; he hugged and kissed children often; he was emotionally present and had genuine concern for them. He cared about Abu Umayr's dead bird, he had Umayyah bint Qays ride on his camel with him *on the way to battle,* and he carried his grandchildren on his shoulders as he led the entire Muslim community in prayer.
He never pushed children away or told them to go their mothers or dismissed them and their concerns. He had time for them, always.
He trained the young boys and men around him to have good manners; to lower their gazes in front of women; to be generous with kindness and affection. He taught the young girls and women around him that they *mattered,* that they had an active role to play in society, that even if they chose to live a simple and "domestic" life, their efforts never went in vain in the Sight of Allah.
The Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu alayhi wa sallam) was truly a "homemaker" in that he made his house a home for Ali ibn Abi Talib, Zaid ibn Harith, and the children of Umm Salamah - his stepchildren. Each and every one of those children grew up loving the person and the home of the Messenger of Allah, for he was the greatest father figure and nurturer that there ever was.
Ibrahim (alayhissalam) is also the perfect example of a nurturing man - so much so that in Jannah, the souls of young children who passed away reside with him.
Being a "homemaker" is neither demeaning nor exclusively a feminine endeavour. Rather, it is what creates the bedrock of a happy, healthy, stable society - one where men and women both play active roles in raising their children (and others' children as well) with love and wisdom.