Love in the Time of Quraysh

Love in the Time of Quraysh

Love is a powerful theme that features throughout history, with the power to launch a thousand ships or destroy a country. Zainab bint RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) is an example of the strength of love and a Muslim woman’s patience and courage. 

Although her story does not feature as prominently in Islamic history as some other Sahabiyaat such as her mother, Khadijah, or her step-mother A’ishah, she experienced one of the most difficult struggles faced by Muslim women: the battle between true love and spiritual conviction.

Zainab bint RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) married her maternal cousin Abu’l ‘Aas ibn Rabee’ before the onset of her father’s prophethood. They loved each other dearly, and their marriage was one of the happiest in all of Makkah.

The first year of RasulAllah’s Prophethood was a difficult one for Zainab. She instantly believed in her father’s Divine Message, but unfortunately, Abu’l ‘Aas refused to accept Islam. Citing the anger of Quraysh as an excuse, Abu’l ‘Aas continued to love and protect his wife, but did not choose to share her faith.

When RasulAllah made his hijrah to Madinah, Zainab requested that she be allowed to stay with her husband, who was still a non-Muslim. In the months that followed, she was the only believer left within the boundaries of Makkah.

Parted from her family, isolated from other Muslims, Zainab found comfort in the love that she shared with Abu’l ‘Aas.

However, after the Battle of Badr, during which Abu’l ‘Aas was taken prisoner by the Muslims, the command came from Allah that no Muslim woman was allowed to stay with her non-Muslim husband. RasulAllah accepted Abu’l ‘Aas’ ransom payment and released him, but he also instructed him to send Zainab to Madinah.

 As much as this second parting with her husband made her heart ache even more, Zainab’s commitment to Allah’s Pleasure over her own demanded that she obey His Command.

Her arduous journey to Madinah, which involved her being ambushed and suffering a miscarriage, reminded her every moment that she was sacrificing the safety and solace of her husband’s love for a life of difficulty. Instead of turning back, instead of using her husband’s protection for her practice of Islam as an excuse to defy the direct order of Allah, she drew upon the strength of her emaan to overcome the pain of losing the love of her life.

Zainab remained in Madinah, refusing to remarry, while Abu’l ‘Aas continued to live in Makkah, anguished at the separation from his wife. Eventually, a sequence of events resulted in his recapture by the Muslims, who brought him to Madinah. Overwhelmed to know that her beloved was near, Zainab publicly announced that she was providing sanctuary to Abu’l ‘Aas. Smiling, RasulAllah accepted her claim of protection and released him into her care, but with the warning that they could not live together as husband and wife. After some time, Abu’l ‘Aas finally accepted Islam, and their reunion was complete.

Today, many Muslim women try to justify their choice to marry non-Muslim men by saying that these men love them for who they are and respect their faith. But if the daughter of the Messenger of Allah was commanded to leave her non-Muslim husband, who loved her passionately and never prevented her from practicing Islam, how can we make the excuse that our transient, mortal love is worth defying Allah?

It is sincere sacrifice, out of true love for Allah, that will grant us both the sweetness of mortal love as well as that of the Divine. It is the decision to choose our love for the Divine over the transience of worldly love, that will truly determine the strength of our spiritual courage and make us worthy of Allah’s Divine Love in return. 

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women. She blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com 

Coming of Age in a New World

Modern society marks the transition from childhood into adolescence with contemporary constructs such as issues of identity and angst. For young Muslimahs in the West, these struggles are compounded with further questions about religion, spirituality, and their place as citizens in societies whose values are often at great odds with those of Islam’s.

Ama bint Khalid was one of the first young Muslimahs to grow up in a non-Muslim environment, and whose love for the Messenger of Allah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) blossomed in her heart before she ever met him. Her parents were amongst the earliest believers in RasulAllah, and were of those who made the first hijrah (emigration) to Abyssinia.

As a result, Ama was one of a handful of young Muslims who grew up in a distinctly Christian society. Though she undoubtedly faced difficulties and challenges, her identity as a Muslim was strengthened by her circumstances, rather than weakened or driven to compromise. Her parents would regularly share with her and remind her of the reason for which they emigrated: their belief in Allah and His Messenger. They would tell her stories about RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) – his kindness, his generosity, his concern for others even if they were not his family or friends, and how he worked so hard to save everyone from the terrifying punishment of the Hereafter. Long before she ever met him, Ama loved this amazing man of whom her parents spoke so fondly.

Ama was a young girl with faced with a massive challenge: living and growing up in a country foreign to her family, struggling to learn a new language and a new culture and, more importantly, retaining the faith for which they had emigrated in the first place. In the midst of this utter strangeness, she fiercely held onto her belief in God and His Messenger, her savior. 

Though the challenges are many, young Muslims in the 21^st century are not the first to experience isolation, alienation, and negative propaganda directly concentrated on their faith. Youth such as Ama bint Khalid and Ali ibn Abi Talib, both of whom were raised upon Islam from a very young age, grew up in a society where they were labeled as either crazy people, terrorists, or both. Most Muslim teenagers often think that they have little in common with famous and awe-inspiring Sahaabah of the Prophet’s time, but the truth is that their struggles were very similar to those we are going through today.

Today, young Muslims in the West have far more available and at their disposal than Ama bint Khalid had over 1400 years ago. Masjid youth groups, Islamic schools, youth conferences, CDs and DVDs; these resources provide not only knowledge, but a strength of solidarity for young Muslims growing up in non-Muslim societies.

Teenage Muslim girls who are trying to juggle their non-Muslim school environment, culturally different home environment, and plain old teen hormones need look no further than Ama bint Khalid to feel both comforted and inspired. If Ama could do it – in a time when there was no internet, no halaal takeout, and no varieties of cute hijaabs – why can’t you?

Bukhari, Volume 8, Book 73, Number 22:

    Narrated Sa'id:

    Um Khalid bint Khalid bin Said said, "I came to Allah's Messenger along with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah's Messenger said, "Sanah Sanah!" ('Abdullah, the sub-narrator said, "It means, 'Nice, nice!' in the Ethiopian language.") Um Khalid added, "Then I started playing with the seal of Prophethood. My father admonished me. But Allah's Apostle said (to my father), "Leave her," Allah's Apostle (then addressing me) said, "May you live so long that your dress gets worn out, and you will mend it many times, and then wear another till it gets worn out (i.e. May Allah prolong your life)." (The sub-narrator, 'Abdullah aid, "That garment (which she was wearing) remained usable for a long time)

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women. She blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com 

Forgotten Heroines - Introduction

Muslim women in the West today are in a seemingly unique position: often straddling two worlds, that of their family’s ethnic culture and that of their Western country of residence; struggling to both revive their faith and their intellect; managing a balancing act of family and career.

Often, we feel alone, stranded in circumstances for which there is no textbook manual on how to do it all right. Surely we can’t be the only generation of Muslim women to face such trials! And, in fact, we aren’t. Islamic history books are filled with stories of exemplary Muslim women, young and old, who navigated cultures spanning from Asia and Arabia to Europe.

These inspiring women came of age in environments eerily similar to our own:  Fatimah bint Muhammad (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), whose early teen years were spent struggling through the difficult first days of Islam in Makkah; and  Ama bint Khalid, who grew up in the Christian country of Abyssinia during the lifetime of the Prophet Muhammad (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam). They dealt with feelings of isolation, cultural differences, and the struggles faced by the pioneers of a new way. They fell in love, fought in wars, and achieved heights of scholarship envied by men.

From the Sahaabiyaat (female Companions) to shaykhaat (female scholars) in our own times, Muslim women have always had powerful female figures to look up to and emulate. Unfortunately, however, these inspiring women have been forgotten and marginalized by their own people, to the detriment of all Muslims, both men and women.

Now, we hope to revive and relive our neglected history. By bringing to light not only the exploits of these heroines, but their humanity as well, we aim to build a direct connection and sense of relevance between the current generations of Muslim women, and those who created legacies before us.

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women. She blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com 

Book Review: Black Sheep

(Originally published here at SaudiLife.net)

Na’ima B. Robert, author of several young adult novels, founder and editor-in-chief of SISTERS magazine, has done it again with her new book, Black Sheep. 

EMOTIONAL yet thoughtful, Black Sheep is the tale of Dwayne Kingston, a young man whose childhood and
adolescence have been rough in the poverty-ridden, gangster-territory area of Brixton. 

His poet’s soul, however, still flourishes, and brings him together with Misha, a girl from the higher end of London. Misha’s private-school education, refined accent, and sheltered life are very different from Dwayne’s, and though they find themselves deeply in love, they both have struggles of their own to overcome.

Misha has always been reserved when it comes to boys, and driven when it comes to her studies. Pushed by a mother who insists on excellence, and setting her eyes on a top university, Misha finds herself bewildered by the feelings she has for Dwayne. As the relationship turns turbulent, Misha is forced to ask herself whether she’s just trying to escape her mother’s pressure, or if she really believes that Dwayne is worth the heartache. And if he is, what does that mean for her future?

Dwayne grew up on the council estates, living the gangbanger reality. Spitting beats, cruising the streets, and making money by selling weed is all Dwayne really knows. Although he’s managed to avoid getting arrested so far, his mother and the new principal at school both know that it won’t take long for the street life to swallow him up… until he meets Misha, that is.

Dwayne finds himself changed by Misha – her insistence that he can ‘rewrite the script’ and make something of himself, to look for a future that doesn’t revolve around the streets. Earnestly seeking to better himself, Dwayne finds that the harder he tries to fight against the cycle he’s been trapped in all his life, the more it threatens to pull him down. Even after accepting Islam, the dark side of life that Dwayne had tried to hide from Misha catches him to him in a way that threatens to destroy the fragile hopes he had begun to harbor.

Together, Misha and Dwayne wrestle with issues of identity, family, and true love, against the backdrop of gangs and drugs on the streets of London.

Echoing with Romeo-and-Juliet themes, Black Sheep is a book that I would strongly recommend for ages 11 and up, especially for young boys who glorify the gangster lifestyle. What’s refreshing is that although Islam plays an important role in the characters’ story, it remains a subtle influence that does not clash with the larger themes of the novel.

As well, though the points of view switch between Dwayne and Misha, the larger part of the narrative is focused on Dwayne, which would work well in keeping the attention of male readers. Na’ima B. Robert skillfully taps into a young man’s sense of confidence, insecurity, hopes, and fears to create an engaging, empathetic figure who learns that the best things are worth fighting for.

The street-style vocabulary, which is heavily used throughout the novel, is hard to understand at first, but the context usually assists in figuring out. It would have been a good idea to include a short appendix explaining the terms commonly used, especially for readers not based in the UK.

However, the story itself is very well written and the characters well developed. The message is clear but not preachy, and the book tackles themes that are serious without becoming too graphic, and without minimalizing the severity of the issues.

I would rate this book 4.5 out of 5, and would highly recommend this to Muslim parents and teachers alike, especially for young boys.

---

 AnonyMouse (Umm Khadijah) is a young Muslimah who has been reading and writing for as long as she can remember. She writes for SISTERS Magazine, SaudiLife.net, and blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com

Physically Disabled, or Enabled for Paradise?

Those suffering from mental illness or extreme physical ailments are often treated shamefully by fellow Muslims. Many times, they are overtly excluded from being a part of the Muslim community; whether it's looking at them askance, avoiding talking to them, or not making an effort to make our masaajid and Islamic centers wheel-chair friendly, our behavior is in direct contradiction to the Sunnah of RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam).

We tend to use the term "disabled" to describe people who have been tested by Allah in terms of their physical or mentally health - yet what we don't realize is that in many cases, they are actually far more "enabled" than the rest of us are. Our brothers and sisters in Islam who are experiencing these trials in their lives often display levels of patience and strength in the face of hardship than most of us, who enjoy good health throughout our lives, do.

Umm Zafar, better known as 'the Abyssinian woman' who suffered from epilepsy in the time of RasulAllah (sallAllahu 'alayhi wa sallam) was such a person. Though epilepsy was, at the time (and still is, in many parts of the world), considered to be something severe, strange, and even shameful, she bore her test with a strength, patience, and dignity equal to that of any mujaahid on the battlefield.

Ibn `Abbâs once said to `Atâ b. Rabâh: "Shouldn't I point out to you a woman of Paradise?"

He replied: "Indeed. Do so."

Ibn `Abbâs said: "Do you see that black complexioned lady? She approached the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said: 'I suffer from epilepsy and during a fit, my body becomes exposed. So please supplicate Allah on my behalf.'

"Then the Prophet said to her: 'If you choose, you might rather bear it patiently and you will attain Paradise on account of it. Or if you like, I will beseech Allah to cure you.'

"She said: 'I will bear it patiently. But my body gets exposed, so please beseech Allah that my body will no longer be exposed.'

"The Prophet (peace be upon him) beseeched Allah for this." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (5652) and Sahîh Muslim (2576)]

As a result of what many of us would consider her "disability," Umm Zafar was blessed with the greatest ability of all: the ability to enter Paradise.

The next time we see a fellow Muslim who is suffering, whether from a physical or mental ailment, don't treat them as inferior or as though you're afraid that they're contagious. Don't talk down to them, don't assume that you are better than them, and don't think that because of their illness, that they are inferior to you.

Yes, they are 'different' - not because they are "sick," but because so many of them have met the challenge that Allah has placed before them with such strong emaan, patience, and strength, that they may be amongst those guaranteed Jannah.

#ForgottenHeroines

Embracing Sexuality

As Muslims, we are caught between two extremes: a culture of hypersexualization that trivializes and belittles the value of sex, that turns intimacy into something crude and vulgar; and a 'back home' culture where everything that is romantic, sexual, and intimate is made forbidden and shameful.

Umm Sulaym (radhiAllahu anha) was not ashamed of asking a question which openly discussed an aspect of female sexuality (wet dreams), in an appropriate manner, despite the fact that others around her (such as Umm Salamah) were shocked that she had the audacity to discuss it in public.

Many Muslim women are pressured into denying their sexuality, or fully being able to explore and acknowledge it, even within their marriage. Cultural double standards that make it acceptable for men to transgress the bounds of chastity but taboo for women to be honest about their desires are poisonous.

Not only does such a mentality warp and harm those individuals affected by it, but it also interferes in every Muslim's right to a sound Islamic education and a holistic, happy life based on the Deen - including the area of halal sexual gratification.

Muslim women should not be made ashamed of being aware of their bodies, their physical needs, and their sexuality; these things are all gifts from Allah, which, with the right intention, can be made a source of ajr (reward) from Him.
On the flip side, these things are also responsibilities, for if misused and abused, they can also be a source of punishment.

Let us embrace the mature, dignified, respectful, and positive attitude towards female sexuality that Sahabiyaat such as Umm Sulaym displayed, and cast away the crippling mentalities that pressure women to deny their very natures.

Umm Salama (Allah be pleased with her) relates that Umm Sulaym (Allah be pleased with her) came to the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and said, “O Messenger of Allah, Surely, Allah is not shy of the truth. Is it necessary for a woman to take a ritual bath after she has a wet dream?” The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) replied: “Yes, if she notices a discharge.” Umm Salama covered her face and asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Does a woman have a discharge?” He replied: “Yes, let your right hand be in dust [an Arabic expression said light-heartedly to someone whose statement you contradict], how does the son resemble his mother?” (Sahih al-Bukhari 130)

Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) said: “How praiseworthy are the women of Ansar; shyness does not prevent them from having a deep understanding of religion.”

#ForgottenHeroines