Love in the Time of Quraysh

Love in the Time of Quraysh

Love is a powerful theme that features throughout history, with the power to launch a thousand ships or destroy a country. Zainab bint RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) is an example of the strength of love and a Muslim woman’s patience and courage. 

Although her story does not feature as prominently in Islamic history as some other Sahabiyaat such as her mother, Khadijah, or her step-mother A’ishah, she experienced one of the most difficult struggles faced by Muslim women: the battle between true love and spiritual conviction.

Zainab bint RasulAllah (sallAllahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) married her maternal cousin Abu’l ‘Aas ibn Rabee’ before the onset of her father’s prophethood. They loved each other dearly, and their marriage was one of the happiest in all of Makkah.

The first year of RasulAllah’s Prophethood was a difficult one for Zainab. She instantly believed in her father’s Divine Message, but unfortunately, Abu’l ‘Aas refused to accept Islam. Citing the anger of Quraysh as an excuse, Abu’l ‘Aas continued to love and protect his wife, but did not choose to share her faith.

When RasulAllah made his hijrah to Madinah, Zainab requested that she be allowed to stay with her husband, who was still a non-Muslim. In the months that followed, she was the only believer left within the boundaries of Makkah.

Parted from her family, isolated from other Muslims, Zainab found comfort in the love that she shared with Abu’l ‘Aas.

However, after the Battle of Badr, during which Abu’l ‘Aas was taken prisoner by the Muslims, the command came from Allah that no Muslim woman was allowed to stay with her non-Muslim husband. RasulAllah accepted Abu’l ‘Aas’ ransom payment and released him, but he also instructed him to send Zainab to Madinah.

 As much as this second parting with her husband made her heart ache even more, Zainab’s commitment to Allah’s Pleasure over her own demanded that she obey His Command.

Her arduous journey to Madinah, which involved her being ambushed and suffering a miscarriage, reminded her every moment that she was sacrificing the safety and solace of her husband’s love for a life of difficulty. Instead of turning back, instead of using her husband’s protection for her practice of Islam as an excuse to defy the direct order of Allah, she drew upon the strength of her emaan to overcome the pain of losing the love of her life.

Zainab remained in Madinah, refusing to remarry, while Abu’l ‘Aas continued to live in Makkah, anguished at the separation from his wife. Eventually, a sequence of events resulted in his recapture by the Muslims, who brought him to Madinah. Overwhelmed to know that her beloved was near, Zainab publicly announced that she was providing sanctuary to Abu’l ‘Aas. Smiling, RasulAllah accepted her claim of protection and released him into her care, but with the warning that they could not live together as husband and wife. After some time, Abu’l ‘Aas finally accepted Islam, and their reunion was complete.

Today, many Muslim women try to justify their choice to marry non-Muslim men by saying that these men love them for who they are and respect their faith. But if the daughter of the Messenger of Allah was commanded to leave her non-Muslim husband, who loved her passionately and never prevented her from practicing Islam, how can we make the excuse that our transient, mortal love is worth defying Allah?

It is sincere sacrifice, out of true love for Allah, that will grant us both the sweetness of mortal love as well as that of the Divine. It is the decision to choose our love for the Divine over the transience of worldly love, that will truly determine the strength of our spiritual courage and make us worthy of Allah’s Divine Love in return. 

Zainab bint Younus (AnonyMouse) is a young woman who finds constant inspiration in the lives of the Sahabiyaat and other great women in Islamic history. She hopes that every Muslimah is able to identify with the struggles of these inspirational women and follow in their footsteps to become a part of a new generation of powerful Muslim women. She blogs at http://www.thesalafifeminist.blogspot.com 

Book Review: Love In A Headscarf

AlHamdulillaah I've recently gotten back to writing after a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long hiatus (about a year since I left my old haunt at MuslimMatters.org). So far it's only been a handful of articles, written for SISTERS magazine, but I figured I may as well throw them in here for another handful of views :)

...

“Love in a Headscarf: Muslim Woman Seeks The One,” by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed is a light-hearted, real-life take on the typical dilemma faced by young Muslim women in the West – searching for the right Muslim man, the right Muslim way.

The author is a young British Muslim woman, who tells us that “at the age of thirteen, I knew I was destined to marry John Travolta. One day he would arrive on my North London doorstep, fall madly in love with me, and ask me to marry him. Then he would convert to Islam and become a devoted Muslim.” A few years later down the line, however, and John Travolta still hasn’t shown up for the great samosa-serving rishta (potential bridegroom) ritual!

For every girl whose guilty pleasure is chick lit, “Love in a Headscarf” is a guilt-free and completely halaal way to indulge. The book, however, is more than just a fluffy giggle-inducing tale; Shelina skilfully narrates her anecdotes while weaving in brief explanations of the tenets of Islam and components of Muslim cultures in a way that makes the book appealing and approachable to both Muslims and non-Muslims alike.

Shelina chronicles her quest for the One from beginning to end, from her first arranged meeting at the age of 19, to the experimental attempts at “Muslim speed dating,” and finally, even online matchmaking websites. Readers can both sympathize with and chuckle at her descriptions of the various characters she meets during her quest: disdainful Samir who hates books, perfect Jameel who left the choice of his future bride up to his mother (who of course has not approved of anyone yet), Habib who was still emotionally scarred by his parents’ divorce five years ago and terrified of making a commitment that might end the same way, breathlessly attractive yet disinterested Karim...

Considering all the above, yet yearning still for something more – for That Feeling – Shelina struggles to compromise between the well-meaning, earnest advice of Buxom Aunties, Serious Imams, and her own wise parents, and the romantic dreams that every young woman has of finding the One. Commendably, however, she doesn’t allow the marriage hunt to overwhelm her life. Concluding that Allah in His Wisdom has a reason for not delivering Prince Charming into her lap, she goes about the business of Life.

Worshipping Allah, studying, travelling, navigating the tangled paths of cultural identity, and, of course, dreaming of the One... Sheilina shares stories of what it’s like to be a young Muslim woman in the West, dealing with the aftermath of 9/11 and struggling against stereotypes from both within and without the Muslim community. Good Girls don’t climb mountains, she’s told when she sets out to scale Mount Kilimanjaro; but at the same time, her hijaab seems to turn off a lot of potential suitors. What’s up with that? She questions traditional conditions, believing in the values but not necessarily the ways in which a girl is supposed to maintain her reputation. After all, what’s wrong with a girl getting a sports car?

Shelina’s quest for halaal love ends up the way such things always do: determined by the Qadr (Destiny) of Allah, both Prince and Princess appear in the right place at the right time, destined to meet. With the blessing of faith and family, Shelina Zahra Janmohamed marries her Prince Charming... and so begins her Happily Ever After.

- A- AnonyMouse (UmmKhadijah) is a young Muslimah who has been writing Islamic articles for the last six years. Formerly a co-founder, staff member, and writer for MuslimMatters.org, she now writes for SISTERS magazine.