A Father's Advice

In the days when the pious walked the streets hand-in-hand with the penitent; and men veiled their faces out of modesty, knowing that their majesty could oft be too much temptation for the lioness-women who loved them, a wise father sat with his son on the night before his marriage.

"My son," he said tenderly, his beard streaked grey with the wisdom of his years, "Were it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice due to good manners and noble descent, then my words would be worthless, for you carry both within you. Yet this will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful and provide wisdom to the foolish."

“My son, if a man were able to do without a wife by virtue of his mother's care and his need for his mother's love, then you of all men would be most able to do without a wife: but men were created for women, just as women were created for men."

“My son, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to enter a new home, to a companion with whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, she has become your queen - so be like a noble attendant to her, and she will become a noble attendant to you."

"Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision for you in times of need, and a blessing for you in times of joy:

The first and second of them are: be content in her company, and listen to and please her, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and pleasing one's wife brings peace to one's heart.

The third and fourth of them are: make sure that you smell good and look good; she should not see anything ugly from you, and she should not smell anything but a pleasant smell from you. Kohl is the best most masculine of adornment to be found, and water is better than the rarest perfume.

The fifth and sixth of them are: provide her with food on time, and keep quiet when she is asleep, for raging hunger is like a burning flame, and disturbing her sleep will destroy her well-being.

The seventh and eight of them are: take care of her servants and children, and be grateful to her, for she bears your children, and she sacrifices her body to feed them and care for them. Taking care of her servants and children shows that you are responsible towards her, and expressing your gratefulness to her shows that you are appreciative to her for her heart and her body. 

The ninth and tenth of them are: never disclose any of her secrets, and never insult her or dismiss her; for if you disclose any of her secrets, you will never feel safe from her possible betrayal, and if you insult her, her heart will be filled with hatred towards you.

Be careful, my son, of showing joy in front of her when she is upset, and do not show sorrow in front of her when she is happy, because the former shows a lack of judgment whilst the latter will make her unhappy."

"Verily, these are the wisdoms passed down from father to son: the words which, if followed, make a boy into a man, a rash youth into a worthy husband. No home will rent asunder, nor heart feel distress, so long as the young warriors of our tribe take these words to their chests, held closer than armour, more precious than any spoils of war."

- Tuhfat al-Arees, Naseeha lil Shabaab

Abu Bakr Shamsuddin alBaghdadi aka  Khayrunnisaa Gulfem Sultana

One of many princesses of the Ottoman sultanate's harem, Gulfem was an avid student of sacred knowledge in her brother's court.
At the age of twelve, she surpassed all the tutors the harem had to offer; by the age of fifteen, she was offering her brother political advice on how to negotiate the tensions between themselves and the Persian Safavid empire.
Gulfem had a great talent for poetry in particular, penning lyrical stanzas and witty sonnets in Farsi, Arabic, and Turkish alike. At times deeply religious and spiritual, at others cutting and sardonic, Gulfem's words were robustly enjoyed - but only within the harem walls. As a member of the royal blood rather than a jaariyah (slave girl), it was prohibited for her to mingle with the male masters of her art, to attend poetic salons freely, or even to publish her works and distribute them in her own name.

Frustrated by the lack of opportunity she had to share her writings, Gulfem realized that deception was her only option. She adopted the pen name Abu Bakr Shamsuddin alBaghdadi, an homage to her maternal grandfather, a respected 'aalim of Baghdad.
Unencumbered by the burdens of a feminine name, Gulfem's poetry became famed across the Ottoman empire and beyond. Such was her popularity that her works were compiled, published, and sold widely - referred to in shorthand as 'Shamsuddins.'

The true identity of the great poet Abu Bakr Shamsuddin alBaghdadi remained unknown and would have vanished from memory if not for one mere note recorded in the annals of history by Gulfem's loyal scribe and handmaiden, Hatice Begum.

...

If solitude is the succor of women and of saints,
Whence wisdom is found, honour preserved, and Divine Pleasure obtained
Should not the Sultan and his Viziers embrace the silence of the harem's walls for themselves?

- Abu Bakr Shamsuddin alBaghdadi, "Political Advice."
...
Wisdom, like youth and faith and the blossoms along the Bosphorus, oft withers as swiftly as it blooms.
...
Hands outstretched in supplication,
Begging for another morsel, another moment of munificence -
Who is the beggar, and who the benefactor?
...
If the proof for murder lies in the garnet drops upon the blade,
How then do we seek justice for the female minds sacrificed at the altar
...
In gardens of reverence,
The weeping of scholars perfumes their beards -
Love and tears more fragrant than jasmine and frankincence.
...
Verily, a vale of beauty unveiled is the likeness of the Greatest Beauty unveiled.