On Being A Salafi Feminist

Salafi: A Salafi (Arabic: سلفي‎) is a Muslim who emphasises the Salaf ("predecessors" or "ancestors"), the earliest Muslims, as model examples of Islamic practice.
(Wikipedia)

Salafi (Media Definition): Muslim men who wear short thawbs and have big beards, Muslim women who wear hijab/ abayah/ niqaab; Muslims who despise the West, have dreams of world domination and The Khilaafah (TM), and are determined to practice Islam openly. *Shudder*

Salafi (North America): A bunch of guys with short thawbs, long beards, and way too much time on their hands, which they spend writing PDFs declaring everyone else to be Off The Manhaj (TM).

Feminist: An advocate for social, political, legal, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. (Dictionary.com)

Feminist (Popular Opinion): Hairy, man-hating women determined to prove themselves superior to men and take over all male jobs.

Feminist (Muslim Popular Opinion): Hairy, man-hating women who are going to destroy the natural order of this world by claiming to be equal to men.

Muslim Feminist/ Feminism: A form of feminism concerned with the role of women in Islam. It aims for the full equality of all Muslims, regardless of gender, in public and private life. (Wikipedia)

Muslim Feminist (Muslim Popular Opinion): Man-hating, self-hating women who try to use Islam as an excuse to destroy the Muslim Ummah from within; those who attempt to destroy the natural order of this world by claiming to be equal to men, or at least slightly more equal than many Muslims prefer to believe.

Alternatively, Muslim women who have been brainwashed by the West into thinking that the role of a wife and mother isn't enough for her, and is now just a pitiable tool of the Decadent West (TM) who must be warned against, because there is absolutely no hope for her, especially when she starts trying to quote ayaat and ahadeeth to justify her clearly warped and corrupted views.

The Salafi Feminist: Someone who just likes to see everyone get their knickers in a knot when they see the words 'Salafi' and 'feminist' put together, and love to say things like, "in salafi-feminism you have combined two of the most disastrous movements in modern history!" (True story.)

Okay, so maybe I'm deliberately being a tease. It's hard to resist, though, seeing as how everyone wants to shove me and my views into an annoyingly narrow box, because unless you fit into a pre-constructed box, you don't count!

Anyway.

I am a niqaabi who hates those "Da'wah pictures" which say women are either pretty covered-up lollipops or trashed unwrapped candies being bombarded with flies.

I am a happy wife and mother, and I loathe those people who try to tell me that I should only be happy in my role as a wife and mother.

I believe in pursuing knowledge, Islamic and otherwise (and in fields other than gynecology or teaching kindergarten), and would really like to flip the bird at those twits still debating "women's education in Islam."

I frown upon mingling between the sexes and pre-marital relationships, but I will never belittle another woman's value and worth as a human being based upon her sexual history or rumours about her reputation.

I rage against the injustices of Western governments, but I refuse to turn a blind eye to the tragedies that Muslims inflict upon each other. Drone strikes, illegal wars, and the occupation of Palestine are right up there with domestic violence, sexual abuse, and racism within Muslim communities.

I believe that men and women both have control over their actions and desires, and that a woman looking at a male speaker is not going to send her into a frenzy of lust, or that any man is incapable of keeping it in his pants when he sees a woman whose body is not covered from head to toe in black. 

I respect the scholars of Islam and will defend them to anyone who tries badmouthing them, but that doesn't mean I'll stay silent when some of their words are harmful to the Muslim women of this Ummah. 

I believe that homosexuality is a great and terrible sin, but I also believe that shirk is worse. No one should allow their sins to stop them from reaching out to Allah, the Merciful, the Forgiving, the One True God.

I uphold that modesty and chastity is for both men and women; that women should wear hijab, men should lower their gaze, and that both parties assist each other in making their societies purer in every way. 

I believe that "The believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise."
(Qur'an 9: 71)

(So in the end, I may not be a Salafi after all. Or even a feminist. But sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh! Don't tell anyone!)