Exploring Gender Issues in Muslim Communities: Extremes and Balance

For a while now, I've been reading stuff in the news and on various blogs (Muslim and otherwise) regarding gender segregation and homosexuality. Specifically, the link between gender segregation and homosexuality.

Read the following for background info:

http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/01/20/10098078.html

http://achelois.wordpress.com/2007/01/22/sexual-promiscuity-amongst-muslims (it's the actual post you should read; ignore the comments... or you could of course read the comments, but just to let you know, I haven't)

Now, for what I have to say:

Even though I live in Canada, my parents have been (and are) pretty strict about gender segregation. It is one of the (many) reasons why I was taken out of public school in grade 5 and have been homeschooling since.
At the Islamic centre my dad used to run, we weren't like some of the other masaajid and Islamic centres - gender segregation was something that was emphasized, along with hijaab and lowering of the gazes (which I guess is pretty much a part of gender segregation). Men and women had separate entrances, and they were never 'friendly' with each other (i.e. no one made small talk or acted overly familiar with each other; if we did have to communicate, we did so in a business-like manner).
All in keeping with the Sunnah... al-Hamdulillaah.

However, this is just one Islamic centre in a non-Muslim country, and outside of it all of us - whether we liked it or not - had some sort of regular contact with the opposite gender, whether it be at school, work, or the supermarket. Somehow or another, we learnt how to deal with members of the opposite gender in an appropriate manner; a manner in which we stuck to the principles of Islam and did not adopt the overly-familiar Western manner of gender interaction, yet we also managed to go about our daily business and do what needed to be done.

In the Muslim world, however, the situation is quite different – in certain countries gender segregation is strictly enforced, and due to it severe issues arise… such as that of homosexuality (as mentioned in the two articles above).

It is this which I wish to discuss: the cases of extremity in regards to gender segregation/interaction, and how to achieve a balance between them.


There are two extremes that are seen with regards to gender segregation:
In the one case, males and females are kept totally apart from each other, unless they are Mahrams. Interaction between the genders is restricted in (almost) all other spheres of life.
In the other case, there are absolutely no barriers between males and females, and they are actually encouraged to pursue any type of relationship with each other that they wish.

The first case is what’s seen in certain areas of the Muslim world (Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, and Iran being three such examples), and it is this case which is discussed in the two articles linked to above.

There are those who say that this type of gender segregation - extreme segregation - is bad for us, as individuals and as a society. As individuals, we do not learn how to deal with people of the opposite gender, which can lead to difficulties and complications in relationships, whether they be personal or professional; as a society it can impact us in a very deep way - the results being such as those described in the articles.

A good point that I've seen/read made by many is that this kind of extreme gender segregation ends up reducing men and women as purely sexual objects to each other. In these cases, interaction with the other gender is totally forbidden because it will lead to 'bad things'.
Yet what is not taken into account is that, if properly established and maintained, interaction with someone of the opposite gender can actually be beneficial. Men and women can be peers, can learn together, can share and debate ideas, can work together on a project - *without* it leading to 'bad things'.

All that needs to be done is make sure that there is a proper distance being kept. Islamic rules and guidelines need to be followed. Hijaab needs to be observed - by both parties.

It sounds simple enough... right? But there are far too many people who think that men should be only ones allowed to participate in public activities; that women should stay within the four walls of their home, cooking, cleaning, and raising children. Yet they forget that the Sahaabiyaat, the female companions of the Prophet (SAW) were more than just mothers and wives; they too learnt their Deen from the Prophet (SAW), and in turn they too taught others about the finer points of al-Islam. The Sahaabiyaat were not the only ones - throughout Islamic history there were great women scholars, many of whose students became famous teachers in their own right. And nowadays, the scope of teaching extends beyond religious teaching, and into such fields as literature, medicine, various sciences, and even engineering.

Then we have the second case, the one we see here in the West. Barriers between men and women are extremely discouraged; there is almost no limits put on the contact between men and women, and they are free to – nay, they are encouraged to – become very much involved with each other… in more ways than one.


In both cases mentioned above, the extremes lead to perversions: Rising homosexuality in the Muslim world; and of course we all know about the promiscuity of the West. Enforced deprivation and gross excess can both lead to disgusting perversions – which we are now seeing, quite graphically illustrated.

My question is, then: How do we deal with these extremes?

Wait, scratch that.

I think we’ve all read enough articles and heard enough lectures about how to deal with the fitnah of the West – so let’s discuss what we don’t read and hear about so much: the case of extreme segregation and the issues that appear as a result in the societies where it is enforced.

So then: How do we Muslims find the balance between these two extremes? How do we restrict the relationships between non-Mahram men and women, in keeping with the Sunnah, yet also be able to learn how to develop certain proper relationships between ourselves and members of the opposite gender?

We know that the Sahaabah and Sahaabiyaat did not mix and socialize with each other as men and women do today, yet we also know that they did have regular contact and interaction with each other.

How can we achieve that balance?


Another thing came to my mind regarding this issue:

The extreme gender segregation/lack of segregation is something that is also a rather controversial issue within various Muslim communities. For example, some masaajid/ Islamic centres who consider themselves more ‘modern’ or ‘progressive’ will go for ‘breaking the barriers’ between men and women; whereas other more traditional (aka ‘Wahhabi’ and ‘Salafi’) groups will keep the separation.

Within the congregations of these masaajid and Islamic centres there are quite a few discussions and debates about it – but what I’m thinking about is, what happens when the gender segregation/lack thereof is enforced in Muslim schools?

The two things that I’ve seen are, the schools with no segregation end up becoming little better than public schools (the guys and girls become very comfortable and familiar with each other, and in the older grades boyfriends and girlfriends become common… my dad, who was once an Islamic studies teacher at one of these schools, actually caught a couple making out under the stairwell); and in the schools that are totally segregated (separate classes for the guys and girls), especially from younger grades, they end up not knowing how to properly interact with each other and that in turn leads to some major issues later on.


The question remains: How do we deal with these issues?