Monday, March 28, 2011

In Defence of Muslim Husbands

For all those Muslim men getting an unfairly bad rap...

Disclaimer: This is a fictional work, but no less true or relevant.
My husband is patient. When he does get upset, he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and seeks refuge in God from Satan before opening his eyes and smiling at me to show that all is forgiven. Tom across the street screams at his wife Dora until she cries.
My husband is romantic. When he’s late coming home from work, I know he’s not cheating on me with the secretary... he’s stopping by the halal Chinese restaurant to pick up the chicken dumplings he knows I love, with a bouquet of roses to apologize for not answering my phone call. Angela’s getting a divorce because Richard was caught making out with his partner at the office – twice.
My husband is honourable. When he’s out with his friends for the weekend, I know he’s not out at the pub flirting with the waitress... he’s at the mosque mentoring teenage boys and plays basketball with the guys. Lana hates that her boyfriend spends his weekend nights at the local seedy strip club, enjoying women who aren’t her.
My husband is supportive. When I got my new job, he helped me balance my schedule and helped pick up with the chores around the house. When I got my promotion, he took me out to dinner and we celebrated all night. When my paycheque exceeded his, he never asked me for a penny and would insist on paying for the milk I picked up on my way home. Julia confided that her husband resents her success, and demands that she pay half the rent.
My husband is chivalrous. Even when we had the worst argument in the history of our marriage, when he slept at his mom’s house for a week, he never laid an angry hand on me. Brad across the street hits his wife whenever they have a fight, and we can all see the bruises under the sleeves of her shirt.
My husband is an involved father. He takes the girls to karate every Wednesday and then buys them ice cream on the way back. He gives them piggy back rides and changes their baby brother’s diapers when I’m busy. Jack down the road yells at his kids to stay out of his way, while he spends his days on the couch with the TV and a bottle of whiskey.
My husband is chaste. I’m the only woman he looks at with that look of adoration and thorough appreciation. I love it when he undresses me with his eyes, because his eyes don’t look to any other feminine figure except mine. Cindy found her husband’s inbox full of pornography subscriptions.
My husband is honest. When he makes a mistake, he admits and tries to do better. When he is proven wrong, he humbly accepts it and seeks to rectify his error. George blames Brenda for anything that goes wrong, and refuses to take responsibility.
My husband is respectful. He treats me as a complete equal, an individual in my own right. He listens to what I have to say and never belittles my opinions. He empathizes with my feelings even if he doesn’t agree. He places me on a pedestal and never demeans my efforts at home with the kids or at work with my colleagues. Tom criticizes Susan about her education at a small-town college, about her part-time job, and about her size-14 figure.
My husband is playful. He’ll tickle me until I cry with laughter. He’ll play Twister with me until we fall on the floor in a heap of tangled limbs. He’ll dress up as a clown for the kids’ ‘Eid party, even though his boss is there. Michael the C.E.O. is rarely seen cracking a smile, even at his son’s baseball game.
My husband is generous and soft-hearted. He can never walk by a panhandler without dropping at least a dollar into the beggar’s hand. When the teenage prostitute sashays up to him, her eyes blank and staring, he gives her the business card for the women’s shelter and gives her ten dollars to buy herself a decent meal. The guy behind him pulls her over for a grope and an appointment at the motel down the street.
My husband is spiritual and religious. His big beard doesn’t conceal his ever-present gentle smile. His Arab accent doesn’t hide the wisdom of his words, or the humour of his jokes. The mark on his forehead is from when he goes out to pray in the woods, to commune with nature and communicate with God – not a sign of his terrorist tendencies. His heart encompasses the love of God, the love of the Prophet, the love of his parents, his wife, his children, his community, and humanity.
My husband is a Muslim husband!
(Copyright Zainab bint Younus aka AnonyMouse al-Majnoonah)


Anonymous said...

now now sister Zainab

YOu shouldn't diss all them neighbors of yours!! :)

On behalf of all muslim husbands (even ones not so great as yours) I thank you for this post! :)


♥●• İzdihër •●♥ said...

so nice jazak allah khair :)

Anonymous said...




Clark Herlin said...

I'm disappointed in myself when I read blog entries like these. I think of the Twelve Apostles at Supper with the Savior Jesus Christ when he said, "One of you shall betray me [it was Judas, if you didn't know]" And they all answer, "Lord, is it I?"

That's what I thought when I read your post, "Lord is it I? Am I that way?" I ask the Lord to help me exemplify the BOLDFACED words in your post.

Thanks for keeping a good Mormon kid humble. May the Lord bless you:).


Eeshie said...

AWWWWW! That stuff about your husband is so sweet!! Especially the Twister part. I started laughing.

I hope I get a husband as good-hearted as yours in the future. :)

Scented Blood said...

Big up big up the husband massive!!

Woooow wooooooW!!

That dude is a stud muffin of the highest degree!

Anonymous said...

This would have been a touching article, except for the not-so-veiled digs at non-Muslims towards the end of each paragraph.

Hamza Ahmad Qureshi said...

Agree with anonymous no.2. You should consider omitting the digs.

Anonymous said...

omit the digs. there are no black-and-whites. there are good men and not so good men. you get them both amongst Muslims and nonMuslims.
i know plenty of non Muslim guys who don't go to strip clubs; i know plenty of Muslim guys who have a big temper and don't pick up dumplings for their wives. no need to idealize or demonize either side; it just takes away from your message.

Anonymous said...

I think we could do without the dissing of non muslims' husbands. We both know that muslim men have their faults as well and very few fits these categories that you've put up :)

Anonymous said...

I dont think she is dissing non muslims husbands, more of giving an example of a husband who is doing everything he is supposed to fo according to Islam opposed to what some less religiois people do. Either way this was very beautiful.